No Happy Days

So..I've been going through a lot of ups and downs lately..I think more downs than anything though. Unfortunately I'm not the sit at home with kids kinda mom..it depresses me to sit home everyday doing absolutely nothing. People tell me to get a job, yeah well I can't. I had a job but I lost it. It was the only one able to work with my hours. I don't have a babysitter so my options are limited. At the moment I don't even have options..between not having a babysitter, my husband working 40+ hours, and me going to school. I don't have time for a job. I wish I did. I'm just aggravated at my situation right now. We are always broke. Always, no matter what we do, I'm just tired of it. Tired of worrying all the time about everything, are we gonna make this bill, are we going to be evicted, if the light bill don't get paid they will kick us out. I'm just plain tired of it. What's the point of life anyways, I know it's to serve the Lord because that's what were put here for but if people can't afford anything, you have nothing, I'm not talking about material things, I'm talking about food, shelter, blah blah blah. How can trying to work for that your whole life make you happy. Well it doesn't make me happy. I wanna live, enjoy life and the good things the world has to offer. The only thing I am living for these days is a place to live and food in my kids' bellies. I didn't even know if I was going to make it home yesterday from picking my daughter up from school. She's gonna miss the rest of the week and next week because we don't have gas to take her. Because of her absences..she will probably get kicked out of the program..she is supposed to have a 90% attendence. What can I do? I can't walk her there. It's too far and I have a 1 year old to tote around. She's going to be mad at me..she was mad at me this morning already because I didn't take her. My life these days is a no win situation.
 I had a birthday yesterday, it's the one day I look forward to each year because it's my day. Well not anymore, it sucked as usual..it's just "another" day. Why can't I be happy for once, why do people undeserving get to be happy? I don't understand this world or how it works and probably never will. All I'm asking for is to be happy. Why is that so much to ask for anymore?