Well hello!

Dang, it's been a long time since I've written..Guess that's what happens when you have a hectic life. Wow, so anyways, let's just cut to the chase..been going to school full-time..watching my kiddies, and doing homework the other times. My son Levi just had his 2nd birthday..where does the time go?! Kaydence will be 5 the 16th of March and I can't believe its been that long..they aren't babies anymore. :( I was dealing with alot of stuff the last time I wrote and I am definately in a better place since then. I got rid of a lot of people in my life that were causing me more harm then good. Made some awesome new friends and enjoying life right now. I also have picked up some in my "photography business." I am definately enjoying that. I hope that since spring and summer is just around the corner, I will gain a few new clients. I absolutely love taking pictures..I just can't believe it's taken me so long to realize it. After I graduate (this year!!!) I plan to take some photography classes just for a little more experience and tips. I do pretty good as a rookie though..haven't had any complaints so far so thats a good sign.

Different note: I just ordered the book "The 17 Day Diet" I will keep updated on the progress of that once it gets here. I'm excited to start it and hopefully shed some pounds before summer. I'd love to get back into my favorite bathing suit one day. :) Anyways, got a lot going on this month of February..some photo shoots coming up, birthday party for my kids and then going to a cabin with some friends the end of the month..So excited about that! Well, that's all for now. Until then..

doctor, bills, life.

So it's been a really long time since I have written....I have some catching up to do I guess. Life continued to get worse after I wrote, but I think the Lord was trying to make me humble. The worse I protested and pitched a fit, the harder things got. I finally figured out what the problem was and although things seem to still be tough, they are not as bad and I have managed to handle it better. We got a new car, which added another bill but we plan to pay it off at tax time. Bills will be bills..they will always be there so there's not much I can do about that..no sense in complaining.

For the past month now my son has been sick. It started out as a cold. Then came the fever..but this wasn't just any fever, it went from nothing to 105. I'm sorry but if you ask me that is just way too high for anyone, let alone a 1 yr old. The doctor told me I shouldn't worry about it too much. I think the doctor got his license from a cracker jack box. DONT TELL ME NOT TO WORRY about my child. Especially with a fever like that. Anyways, the first time we took him to the er at childrens..they told us that he had an ear infection and that one of his (ear) tubes were missing..then they put him on antibiotics. Well a couple days later we took him to his ear doctor who told us he DID NOT have an ear infection and both his tubes were in place. Yes, it pissed me off. They think we dont know or wont find out if he really had an ear infection but since he does have tubes obviously he sees an ear doctor and we will find out..dumb people. So his fever went down for a few days then on the 8th day, it came back hard. 105.3. We took him back to the er...the dr said and I quote, after all the tests that were run everything looked fine so he says "I don't know what to do"...THAT IS YOUR JOB..you are supposed to make my child feel better and figure out what is wrong so you can fix it....obviously something is going on ..i dont care what the tests say, do more or soemthing..bring in a specialist..I'm not going home with my kid being that sick. And I told the doctors this so they admitted him to make "me" feel better...again i say dumb people..he ended up with a horrible rash..to make  a long story short, the one nurse we had was on our side..doc tried to send him home..but he wouldnt eat or drink so he stayed, got fluids. Come to find out the meds they were giving him to make him better were making him worse..he is allergic to the antibiotics ..

For now, Levi is home, fever free, and covered in itchy hives.. :( but he is doing a little better (other then the hives). Well , i'm getting myself worked up and mad at the doctors..enough for now.

:)

Wow, I hadn't realized how long it's been since I wrote last..my apologies. Anyways, It has been a rough few weeks in my life lately. But as always, we have made it through. The Lord has been good to us. Our car broke down and we weren't able to fix it...searching and praying for something for two weeks and the Lord answered our prayers just in time. We got a new car this past Friday, it's a 96 Chevy Lumina and I love it! I start school tonight and now I have a way to get there! Now after all the money we put into our old car to try and fix it and getting this new car..we are broke again..DHS is behind and our food money did not come in today like it was supposed to. :( We have an empy kitchen at the moment so now I'm going to pray our money comes in soon. I'm not gonna worry too much, we should get them in a few days but I have to figure out how I'm going to feed my kids now. Sheesh, I'm really tired of being so poor. If there was only some way of coming across a nice chunk of money, oh how nice that would be. Oh well. Well anyways, I'm thankful for things I do have and my neighbors have been so much help here lately, I'm so grateful to know them. :)

He Listens..

Ok, I've complained and griped and whined along with lots of praying, the complaining did me absolutely nothing. I was talking to a friend because she always tells me what I need to hear, even if she don't say it to me, it's almost as I was meant to hear it anyways. So I chilled out and listened. She explained to me because I needed to hear it again, how awesome our God is...and boy is he..so I spent my morning worshipping him. Well  he may have heard me, we found a van for sale on craigslist a few days ago and I emailed them...they never replied or called us back. Then this afternoon after all that praying I did, they called my husband while he was at work. This may be a good sign. As I need a vehicle asap, its a good price that we can afford and big enough to tote around my kids. :) I'm feeling really good today. I'm not gonna get my hopes up about the van just yet but I'm leaving all the worry in the Lord's hands and hoping this is the vehicle for us!! What an awesome God we have! :)

Not patiently being patient

Well, here we are again..still no car..can't get it fixed yet. I'm trying so hard to be patient and wait for the Lord to send us some help..I've prayed and prayed..and prayed some more. I know he is never late it's just really hard right now because I have a doctors appointment coming up, school starts oct 3..and I have no way to either. I NEED a car. How do I make myself be so patient for something I'm in need of so much? I'm only human, worrying is what I do best, as that's an insult to the Lord, I asked for his forgiveness. I'm in a dilemma..it's either save the money to fix the car or sale it and make payments on a new one..I'd really rather just fix the car but where do I get the money to do that? UUUUuUUUgh. I don't know what to do. This is causing so much tension between me and jamie its ridiculous. Idk what I'm expecting him to do about it cuz he cant do any more then I can but wait. Pray, and wait. So I guess that's what I'm going to continue to do.

Suds in the..Car?!

So it's been a rough few weeks lately..and the past few days I haven't even had the time to write. Now I've decided to change my attitude about a few things here lately. I'm the type that when so much goes on at once, I tend to have a breakdown and start crying..but there has been things I don't have a lot of control over here lately and If I have a breakdown, it'll only make things worse. So with that said I've decided to write all my problems down here and be on my knees at night giving them to the Lord to handle..He doesn't give us more then we can take on but like a friend of mine said yesterday to me "Sometimes I wish he wouldn't trust us so much."
James went to see his neurologist yesterday, he said as he studdered his words out (wondering if we shouldn't go see someone else) that James might be having mini strokes so they are running more tests later. They did one in the office and it came out good. Also yesterday, I had a hair party at my house, had a few friends over. Went from a good day to a horrible evening, apparently some "he said, he said" not he said she said, was going on and that started so much drama, some people don't know how to let things go in one ear and out the other so that started a fight..got it taken care of though. Well the next morning we get up to take Kaydence to school and the after we leave the school. Our car breaks down, to make a longer story short..someone put dish soap in our radiator. I'm pissed, not only did that mess up our only family vehicle..it messed up MY vehicle..we don't have the money to take our car to the shop, we dont have the money to buy a new one, we don't have the money...period. I drive kaydence back and forth to school in that car..myself to school and back, drs. appts..all of it..now until i get the money to fix it I have to rely on other people to get me where i need to be. I don't like relying on other people, people are not reliable. Enough said.

So I started writing this blog this morning, after I said I wouldnt have a breakdown. I stopped writing to take Kaydence to school..well I lied.. I had a breakdown...In the parking lot..and all because I couldn't get the stupid door of the truck I was driving to close. A person can only handle so much but when you add your vehicle and 2 kids to the mix it only makes things that much worse. I'm going to stop writing now, before I have another breakdown just thinking about stuff. I do have to say, I waited a lot longer to fall this time then I usually do. Things are improving from that prospective.

One more thing, Clinton is having a lot of break-ins, robberies, and vandalisms going on lately..be sure to stay safe and lock your doors. A few of my neighbors were robbed as well, the same time someone messed with my car. A purse and all of it's inside belongings and a tool box full of tools.

Too young to be getting old.

Very sleepy this morning...Went to pick up my neighbor from work last night at 11:30. Came home and went to bed. At 2am this morning I wasnt sure if I was dreaming or not. My husband always kisses me goodbye before he goes to work. Well I guess it woke me up. I rolled over to my daughter laying practically underneath me and I looked at the clock and it said 2:03am. I was like ok, where is Jamie?? I get up to see if he was in the living room and he wasnt, checked the bathroom, no sign of him. I stepped outside and his truck was gone, I was like what the heck, where would he have gone in the middle of the night?? So I called him and he didn't answer the first time, called again and he answered. I said where the heck are you?? He said I'm heading to work, my friend didn't show up to get me so I went ahead and left. I said that's because its 2 IN THE MORNING! He said is it really? I'm like what's going on with you? Get home. He comes home and said I wasn't looking at the first numbers of the clock. I said well maybe you should next time. Come to bed. Idk if he was dreaming or confused or what. I hope that it has nothing to do with his head because he is way too young to be doing crazy things like that. He is supposed to be going to see a neurologist anways but seriously. Anyways, because of that I didn't get up in time to take Kaydence to school today so she is home, playing mario on the wii. Levi is being a cranky butt and i don't know why. It's too early for all this. I'm gonna have to take me a nap today I guess. Got a headache and today feels so wierd. Not sure why. My internal clock is messed up or something idk.
You know when you have that wierd feeling like either you're forgetting something or forgetting to do something or something is about to happen? Well that's what I'm feeling today. It's strange. Anyways, I'm gonna try to figure out if I was supposed to be doing something this morning lol.